1982 Johnny Carson Skit

Ronald Reagan enters the Oval office, sits at desk, looks at some
papers, opens an appointment book, then presses the intercom button.

Reagan - Well now, would you, would you send in Jim Baker, please?

Baker  - (Walking in) Good morning, Mr. President.

Reagan - Well, good morning Jim, just sit down there.

Baker  - Yes sir.  Mr. President, your press conference is scheduled to
         begin in an hour, so we only have a short time for me to brief
         you the kinds of subjects that the press may throw at you.

Reagan - Well, now, the, the environment's on their mind, and I'm, well,
         I'm sure they'll ask me about my Secretary of the Interior.

Baker  - Watt.

Reagan - I said I'm sure they'll ask me about my Secretary of the Interior.

Baker  - Watt.

Reagan - Jim, I just told you I think they'll ask me about my Secretary
         of the Interior.

Baker  - (leaning forward) James Watt.  You're scheduled to go swimming
         with him tomorrow morning at the "Y".

Reagan - Where?

Baker  - "Y"

Reagan - Why.

Baker  - That's right.  With Watt.

Reagan - With what?  I don't even know with who, Jim.

Baker  - Not Hu.  Watt.

Reagan - Well now, Jim.  Let's, let's get this straight.  I'm, I'm going
         swimming tomorrow with, with who?

Baker  - Watt.

Reagan - Where?

Baker  - "Y".

Reagan - Well, uh, Jim, let's go on now to the Middle East.  Now I'll,
         I'll need the, the first name of the head of the PLO, that, uh,
         that Arafat guy.

Baker  - Yasir.

Reagan - I said I'll, I'll need the first name of the head of the PLO.

Baker  - Yasir.

Reagan - Jim, it's, it's nice of you to be polite, but, uh, but, uh,
         what is his name?

Baker  - No, sir.  Yasir.

Reagan - Well now, you're, you're giving me two different answers, Jim.
         What is his name?

Baker  - No sir.  Yasir.

Reagan - Well, now, I asked you what is the first name of the head of
         the PLO, and you tell me "No, sir".

Baker  - That's right.

Reagan - Then you tell me "Yes, sir".

Baker  - Absolutly.  You got it.

Reagan - I got what?

Baker  - He's the Secretary of the Interior.

Reagan - Jim, I don't understand why you're doing this to me.

(Red phone rings.  Baker answers it after several rings.)

Baker  - Oval office, Baker.  Yes?  You have the head of the Republic of
         China, calling for the President, Premier Chung Dung Hu.  Hold
         on.  (Cupping hand over mouthpiece) Mr. President, Hu's on the phone.

Reagan - Well, now, Jim, I don't know.  Who's on the phone?

Baker  - (Nodding) That's correct.

Reagan - What's correct?

Baker  - No, he's your Secretary of the Interior.

Reagan - Now, now, Jim.  Let's start over here, very quietly.  Just,
         just tell me, Jim, who is on the phone.

Baker  - Hu is on the phone.

Reagan - Who.

Baker  - Yes, sir.

Reagan - That Arafat guy is on the phone, Jim?

Baker  - No, sir.  Hu is.

Reagan - What?

Baker  - Swimming,  tomorrow morning at the "Y".
Reagan - (joins in) tomorrow morning at the "Y".

End